night. 'Member how I said in my non-review of Fatal Shadows that I wrote this a while ago? Well when I was adding links and the pics to my Dangerous Thing post (which you can read hur), well I got a song in my head. Mood music, I said. Which is pretty fun for me sitting here at my 'puter while ya'll imagine me caterwauling these lyrics. But maybe not so fun for the 60 y/o man in front of me in line at the post office while I quietly sang. Let's get it oooon. Not that that really happened. Or anything. So I thought I'd bring in a couple more performers today. Just lettin you know in case someone was tempted to say "wtf" for something other than my logic.

And now, places people. And we're back in 3...2...1...Action!

Weeeeelcome back, folks. Today we turn our attention to The Hell You Say by Josh Lanyon, the third in the Adrien English mysteries and my personal favorite. Let me be the most polite of hosts by slamming you in the face first thing with links 'cause that's how I roll. You can buy the print version here and the ebook version here. You can also take a gander at Josh's site here--and don't let those crafty folks at google fool you, Josh's site isn't down. It's all lies! Google Chrome just does not seem to care for direct linkage for his site. Use IE or Firefox.

If you'd rather not stick around for my blathering on why I loved this book so much (or the scandalous confession I promised) you can take my word that this is a really great book. Seriously. Really interesting storyline with lots of occultish goodness, emotions like a pan in your frickin face, and the usual laughs. If that's enough for you then go buy and reeeeaaaaaaad. And if you want to read a real review you can do that here or here or here or here or here.

And now....

The Hell You Say: 'Cause Breakin Up Is Hard To Do

Teh Blurb 1:

The third novel in the Adrien English series finds the "ill-starred and bookish" mystery writer and bookseller battling demons--maybe literally. After bookstore clerk Angus flees following terrifying death threats, Adrien must contend with a mysterious Satanic cult, a hot and handsome university professor, and his on-again/off-again relationship with closeted LAPD Homicide Detective Jake Riordan. And, oh, yes, murder...

Teh Blurb 2:

Adrien English isn't really a detective, he's a bookseller and mystery writer who has a knack for attracting real life mischief and mayhem -- much to the displeasure of his sexy, sometimes-boyfriend, closeted homicide detective Jake Riordan. When bookstore assistant Angus falls afoul of a Satanic cult, Adrien falls afoul of Jake -- but despite the fact that his amateur sleuthing is playing hell with his love life, Adrien can't help but delving into this case of kooks, cults, devil worship, and human sacrifice.

Adrien is still my favorite two blurb guy, yes he is. (Actually, in case you are wondering why I’ve been posting multiple blurbs each day, it’s because they’re different, especially yesterday. And props to JL if he has to write them all, ‘cause I loathe blurbage.)

So in ten seconds or less, we have: Adrien and Jake sitting in a tree, and Adrien gives Angus money to get out of town and save his hide. Then some pointed questions, a couple ritual killings, a crazy author's disappearance--like that's a surprise--a secret cult, a set-up for a fall, dead body 1, malfunctioning christmas lights, more fuzznucking, demon threats, lots of questions, some interviewing, an unplanned pregnancy, new additions to the family, a new guy, Tough Choices, an angry shove, hatred, danger, fear, and a creepy "fortress" in Bel-Air later, everything works ou--well, everything is changed. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Waaaaaiiiiiiit!

You didn't think you'd get rid of me that easy, did you?

As for new players in this book, we have a Hokum Professor, and a dude whose name sounds like a good Italian restaurant and who I picture "mwahahah-ing" the whole way through the book. There's a best-selling author--not Adrien *tear*--who wears a cape. We also have some really annoying "kids" who kind of remind me of something out of Heathers, but with the occult angle (Do you know where your children are?) Then there is Adrien's new soon to be step-family, the Dautens. Priceless. And we have the usual suspects, er, characters of the Partners in Crime mystery writing book club.

So the simple reason why I love this book so much? It made me laugh--no surprise-- and it made me cry. The writing is beautiful and emotional. Spare. Intense. The mystery--which I am sooo not an expert or anything so I won't grade it--is really interesting and unique since it delves into the cults/secret societies (Skulls, anyone? Joshua J. Paul W. Oh Yum. But I digress), witchcraft, satanism, etc. Not your everyday cup of soup. It really is a brilliant read. And if you thought I'd just leave it at that...Ha! You don't know me at all. I ain't through with youse yet! But if you want to make the jump to save your sanity now or you can't even wait to finish reading this because you want to read The Hell You Say now, now, now then you can buy in print here and ebook here.

For anyone who hasn't read this, I don't think I'm spoiling anything by talking about the relationship with Adrien and Jake. All you have to do is read the blurb for DOPK and you have a general idea of what's going to happen. Or, if you were paying attention when you read Fatal Shadows, think back..."But you are a homosexual?"  Lanyon laid the groundwork for what was to come in the freakin' foundation, folks. This ain't no surprise.

But before we get to the hard stuff, we have one of my FAVE parts in the AE series. Jake is helping Adrien string some christmas lights around the bookstore, and when Adrien goes to plug in the lights, he gets a shock or something. Which is scary given his heart condition and it obviously scares Jake, and then later...well, I'm sure you can use your imagination for the type of whoopee makin' that comes (hee) later. Help me out here, Barry. Aaaaaah. Oh Baby. Keep on doing it. Um, yeah. Right. Aaaaanyways, some of you might say I love this scene 'cause I'm obviously easy for fuzznucking...or, well, you know what I'm saying. And that's not it I swear. I just love the emotion that is practically POURING off Jake. I'm also probably not very original in this either, because I have to imagine that anyone else who reads this story will also love the part where Mr. Tough Guy wears his heart on his sleeve. Or his sheet. Whatever. And this also demonstrates how vital an intimate scene can be to a story. Could you imagine any other time when Jake would show his emotions like that? No. Not at all. And as much as I love seeing that emotion, I KNOW, like I can almost scent, what's coming later in the book. It's like a seesaw. Or as many steps backward as he took forward, Jake is pretty much just running from himself at this point. Le sigh.


And moving on. Another reason why I heart this book? Adrien gets a new family! It's a girl! Yay! Actually, it's three of them. As in step-sisters. And don't worry, Adrien ain't playing cinderfella anytime soon as these females are pretty normal, if in a slightly Stepford way. But I love this part of the story because A) It always made me sad that Lisa wasn't looking around for love #2. I didn't want her to be alone. (And please, PLEASE, tell me. Is Jane Seymour not like the perfect casting or what? A #1, baby.)  B) Adrien needs more people in his life. He may not think so. But I KNOW so. Other than the two friends who had their threads so prematurely snipped in the first book, where are all his friends? An hour on Tuesday nights? Jake? He just needs more in his life, he really does. So as much as it may make him grit his teeth, and as much as he may like to groan to himself, I'm really glad that he has family barging their way into his life. Adrien's the type that barging in is the only way to do it. Don't give a lot of warning, because he's wily and he might flee.


Another thing I really like in this book? Avery Oxford. Why does this still amuse me? I can't help it. I just love it. It's fun. And Jean as a tail? OMG, I LOVE it. And I'm not making a non-PC joke here. My only question is...people really eat at Johnny Rockets? I thought it was for getting milkshakes and all those people eating inside were like...extras. 

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for.

It's confessions time. Fellow fanyons, forgive me for I have sinned.

I like Guy. That's right. You heard me. I like him. In fact, I wouldn't mind if Adrien ended up with him. 

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Yeah, okay. Simmer down folks. And stop calling me Benedict, please. I've never been very vocal about this because, well, I don't think it's a popular opinion. And I like my head attached at its current location, thankyaverramuch. But I'm coming out with this. I want the world to know. So before you decide I should be the next human sacrifice to appease Mr. Demon, I have reasons. And like all bad things, they come in threes. So let's break it down. Hammer time.
 

1. I like Guy.

Let's look more closely at this, because it's really more complex than that simple statement. Really, I shouldn't like Guy. I love Adrien like a good pal, which means I want him to be with someone worthy and attractive, right? And I find affectations...annoying. I always wonder how sincere someone can be if they're always putting on a show. Then there is his chosen profession. If you are what you do...Hokum 101, alright. I'm not a believer so it seems...weird to me. And yet...there is something really very appealing about Guy. He just is who he wants to be. The affectations are just a sincere part of the person he likes himself as. (And if you can follow that logic, then cool points for you.) There is something very admirable in that. Somewhere. I mean, he wears a red velvet doublet for chrissakes. In public. What's not to admire about a guy who has the cojones to do that? Probably the only thing that could make it seem more ridiculous would be a raspberry beret--bought, of course, at a second hand shop. But he not only gets away with it, Adrien--smart, made of awsome Adrien--likes him. Finds him attractive. Yeah, I respect Guy.

(And a side note--yeah, yeah, yeah I have a lot of those, I know. But in my mind the character of Guy is played by Mitch Longley who even had long silver hair on Judging Amy but do you think I could find a picture of him from that show? Do you? Thus I've provided the long-haired version and the silver-haired version--of the same actor-- and you'll just have to use your imagination, people. I can lead you to water, but...dehydration is a beeyotch!)


2. If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with

I have mixed feelings about this, mainly because I love romance. I'm a complete mush. And I think that almost necessitates that I believe that everyone in fiction has a one and only, that you get one chance at true love and that's that. Only, I've never really been on board with that. In fact, one of my biggest pet peeves EVAH in romance is when a person realizes that although they loved someone who died, the love is not as good as the one they find in the current book. Why must we cheapen what was before? But back to my point, yeah, it's obvious that Jake could make Adrien sublimely happy. If he were ready, which he is so obviously not. I don't think Adrien needs to spend time pining for Jake. Sometimes it's about making a conscious decision that you deserve to be happy. I don't think you only get one chance with that one person, and I don't want Adrien sitting around waiting for that. Fo' Sho.

3. I'm a contrary biznatch

Probably not a great reason, but there you go. See, I was all wooot! Adrien + Jake = FOREVAH. But then we're introduced to Guy and I want to have my cake and eat it too! And since I don't think JL will be writing any menage anytime soon (and could you just see Jake and Guy? Did your brain just short-circuit too?), that means there has to be One Choice. Oh man. I hate that. In fact, I even tried to blog about it once in talking about teh best friend in m/m fiction, but I ended up realizing that there is just no pleasing some people (me). If Guy gets the, uh, guy, then I'll want it to be Jake. And if Jakes gets the dude, then I'll want it to be Guy. Which is probably why I want it to be Guy, because who has any doubt about who will eventually win the day? Anyone? Anyone following me here? Remember those really horribly written kids books "Choose Your Own Adventure"? That's what we need for Adrien. An alternate ending! 


Well, I think that about sums it up. Or not. Never was good at math. If anyone choked at any point during my rambling, I hope it was with something like laughter and not, ya know, rage. Just because I like Guy doesn't mean I don't still love Jake like nobody's business (Dirty baaaaaaaaabe, You see these shackles, baby I'm your slaaaaaaaaaaaave. Uhn. Sexy. Justin, baby, you done brought it BACK). Actually, this book just makes me want to give Jake a huge hug. A lot of people probably look at it like it's all his own fault and he's making his bed and all that, but let's be real here. Is this prison entirely of his own making? No. We all have fears, and I find I just want to cuddle Jake because I know he's not going to be happy even if he's trying to convince himself he will.

As always, I hope something I've hit upon will convince you to read this book. It packs a big ol' wallop, told in Lanyon's sparse but powerful prose. I really can't recommend it enough, and though I feel a bit like a dog jumping repeatedly through hoops in trying to get you to read, it's worth it because I can't imagine anyone not finding this book--and the others in the series--as suprememly satisfying as I do. So the linkage--do it to me one more time--print here and ebook here. See whassa happenin with Josh here at his website.

And now it's time to say good-bye. But before you shed a tear, I'll be back on Monday for the big launch of Death of a Pirate King! Woot! Actually maybe Tuesday. Unlike the posts for FS, ADT, and THYS, I don't have anythig written up yet for DOPK. Or anything drawn and that would truly be a tragedy for all concerned, I know. So I probably won't have time to whip something up for Monday. Even the Big Man Upstairs got a day of rest.

So tune in again soon for my take on DOPK.

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a pirate's life for me...

(So random, but remember the cool points I talked about yesterday? Well a gazillion can go to whomever can tell me how many songs I’ve referenced in my wee little post.)